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(T)- Tom
(M)- Mark
(S)- Satan

(T)- I’m gonna come back and I’m gonna start, I’m gonna start a therapeutic massage center only for for
(M)- I’M GONNA START MY OWN NUDIST COLONY!
(T)- That’d b gross, we tried that in our bus one time
(M)- I tried to start a nudist colony one time on our bus and it wuz pretty much jus me hangin out naked…. They luv u Tom
(T)- THEY LUV ME SO FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE!!!
(M)- yea, fuck all u guys out there that r cheering we hate u Tom u sux dick burn in hell
(T) yea fuck that, hey I say, I say fuck the hating Tom thing, that’s wut I say, r we ready Mark?
(M)- Ya know wut it iz, ya know wut it iz… a lot of these people r now jus jumpin on the ‘we hate Tom band wagon’ I’ve been hatin Tom since like 1995 I’m old skool hatin Tom guy
(T)- o shit… hey let’s all say sum dirty words EVERY1 SAY FUCK (fuck)… EVERY1 SAY SHIT (shit)… EVERY1 SAY DICK (dick)… every1 say Mark’s an asshole (Mark’s an asshole)
(M)- every1 say, every1 say we hate Mark (we hate Mark) YEA!
(T)- hey now let’s do this one every1 say FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK!! (fuck fuck shit fuck), That’s the kinda words u should b usin at home kids….
(M)- That’s right
(T)- What do we do now?
(M)- I want every1 to call me an asshole again
(T)- Wuts up I like your hair, it very nice
(M)-u like his hair o that’s kool he prolly appreciates that a lot
(T)- no I wanted to say I liked his butt but I thought that wuz too forward, ya know
(M)- Hey this next songs for all the ladies in the HEZOWS….It’s for all the ladies in the
(T)- Hey Mark
(M- in the HEOWAOWZOWWS!!…
(T)- Hey Mark shut the fuck up
(M)- it’s for all the ladies in the HEYOWZEOAOWS!! weeeee…..hey ya know wut hang on, I wanna make this like a big golf
(T)- ::BURPS:: excuse me
(M)- excuse Tom
(T)- Sorry
(M)- I wanna make this like a big golf tournament everyone shut up, everyone jus clap like it’s a golf tournament (crowd claps)
(T)- That’s wut it sound like when I get done having sex…15,000 people cheerin me on, I COULD TAKE ALL OF U IN MY BED RIGHT FUCKIN NOW!!! But your not invited Mark… You have got giant boobs and I doubt your 18,do u have a note from your mom? I wanna meet your mom
(M)- HEY PUT THOSE 13 YEAR OLD BOOBS AWAY! If I wanted to c 13 year old boobs I’d hang out by the junior high like my dad does
(T)- hey ya know wut I learned in 5th grade?
(M)- Wut, your dad has a bent wiener?
(T)- My dad’s wiener wuz bigger than mine then and.. still iz…
(M)- I want every1 here 2 scream, fuck u Tom we fuckin hate u your gonna burn in hell and die a horrible fiery death cuz we think you’re a stupid piece of shit (crowd repeats)
(T)- I heard that
(M)- Thanx
(T)- Wanna give me your shirt? This smells like blood and ficeses… dinner time…hey wut does this say here…
(M)- It smells like blood and ficeses so it’s your dad`s shirt?
(T)- Hey just like any other band we believe in a safe form of sex don’t we Mark? That we do, so Mark’s gonna tell you about how safe we are
(M)- Lemme tell you about the safest form of sex it’s when u get super, drunk, drunk and u have sex with like 10 people totally unprotected and u do intervenes drugs at the same time… no that’s not true
(T)- Not true u gotta carry a weapon…. How many of u guys have girlfriends and how many of your girlfriends have guy friends? I hope your not having sex
(M)- And more importantly how many of your girlfriends have girlfriends?
(T)- Cuz we believe in the luv that exists between two vaginas
(M)- The most special luv of all iz the luv that exists between two naked women while I watch
(T)- We need her to put her shirt back on
(M)- Please
(T)- It just took away my boner, my boner jus died, I had one and now it’s gone
(M)- Please I saw your boobs and my wiener ran away…. Hey hey hey hang on every1 seriously I need your attention for a second please I think somebody lost a contact down here so, every1 look around a contact lens, somebody lost a contact lens, so could
(T)- I lost my virginity
(M)- Keep an eye out for it
(T)- I lost a testicle, he wut if testicles were things you could lose on an everyday bases that’d sux, u only got 3… Hey I gotta go pee pee
(M)- Wanna go pee and I’ll talk to the kids for a second
(T)- Do u think you could talk for enough time?
(M)- No uh-uh
(T)- Why don’t you gather your thoughts…
(M)- Why don’t you wet your pants and we’ll call it even
(T)- Should I jus piss in my pants right here? If u guys alllll each pitch in a dollar each I’ll piss my pants right here and now, that should make me about 200 dollars maybe
(M)- I’ll give u 300 dollars right now to piss your pants right now
(T)- I’ll give you 400 bucks to eat my shit
(M)- SOLD!!!
(T)- SOLD!!!…. apparently there’s a kid that’s hurt right now, I think they’re helping him out right now, looks like there right there
(M)- Make a hole people, make a hole
(T)- All you people over there make way for the hurt kid, and bring me their wallet
(M)- I wish now, ya know lemme tell u guys sumthing…
(T)- I’m gay
(M)- There’s thousands and thousands of people here today there’s like semis and fuckin buses and multiple bands and all kinds shit and I wish now I would of taken Bass lessons
(T)- So do I, I wish he did to
(M)- sorry, sorry… I’m thinking next year for Christmas I’m gonna ask for lessons
(T) ::Singing:: I know a guy, he has sex with his sister, he used his dick to pop her 4 foot blister and I know it’s not that kool, he fucked her in my swimming pool, he’s got 3 testicles and he, he luvs to uh…. Do shit… FUCK YEA!!!!… hey how come every time we say a joke it has to be about fuck and sex masturbation and sex or anything gross like that ya know
(M)- Iz there anything else in the world?
(T)- There’s nothing else to talk about
(M)- Hey can u help that little girl outta there she’s like not having so much fun right now hey
(T)- uh excuse me security guard sir
(M)- The one right in front of you yea
(T)- That girl right there needs to come out… if you’re a small person the front is not the best view, and if u uh hate sing shitty bands any of this is good view, this whole everything, everything here… Mark’s middle name iz uh Rebecca, they thought he wuz
(M)- That’s right, that’s right my middle name iz Rebecca cuz my dad wanted a girl, he treats me like one
(T)- I still have to go pee and I’m holding it in still, but I’ll piss my pants for money, I’ll eat a nugget of my own poop for 20 bucks, I’ll pay u 20 bucks and I’ll eat it
(M)- u shave ur ass
(T)- You have hair on nothing but your balls, hey did u guys know that Mark has no hair on his whole body but a fuckin wolverine growin in his pants I swear to god, it’s got teeth and shit
(M)- It’s true
(T)- He’s got a scary looking penis
(M)- It’s true, I need your tax deductible donations to the shave Mark balls program
(T)- It’s a charity kids
(M)- Send what u can, donate your time
(T)- You guys think we’re touring for our own no, this iz a charity tour for Mark’s balls
(M)- We’re tryin to raise enough money to shave my nuts, please give generously
(T)- There’s no metal strong enough to be the teeth on any kind of electric shaver… What do we do now, o I need a new guitar
(M)- We need a new guitar, we need a new guitarist, anyone out there got a guitar yea right there
(T)- Does anyone know how to play guitar cuz… I’m not very good, people don’t really respect me
(M)- If I was a girl every time I went to the gynecologist I’d fake an orgasm
(T)- Bad kids
(M)- Bad Christmas spirit
(T)- Bad Christmas spirit
(M)- Hey ok I need light now
(T)- we’re gonna point out every kid that didn’t sing
(M)- Santa Clause iz gonna come to your house and shit under all your trees
(T)- Santa clause iz gonna come rape your dog… o god ya know wut, I’m kind of ashamed of being myself today and yesterday, and the day before that, not really proud of who I am and how I look, ever have one of those days where u don’t even like wut your wearing ya know don’t like how your hair looks and kinda bummed about how your penis is so small and bent and weird…that’s the ugliest butt that I have ever seen, LET’S HEAR IT FOR NOT WIPPING!! Stupid butt wiping dude brings down the rain forest, ok this is a song I wrote
(M)- That guy has a science fair project up his ass
(T)- Wut heads up 7UP? Alrightevery1 close their eyes and if I come by and stick my finger in your butt you’re the one…. I think Satan has a couple of comments
(S)- Well kids it’s been a really fun show and I want you all to know that we will come back soon, but before I go I wanna say that I think Tom is extremely good looking and all the girls out there should think he’s good looking, Tom has one of the best butts that I have ever seen, shimmy shimmy coco puff shimmy shimmy right shimmy shimmy coco puffs, does anybody here wanna sleep with me I’m really a nice guy, it’s really not Satan
(T)- It’s me, it’s not Satan let’s all be happy he’s not here say FUCK SATAN(fuck Satan), alright hey I’m out of jokes and out of songs I think we’re done

(T)- Tom
(M)- Mark
(S)- Satan

(T)- I’m gonna come back and I’m gonna start, I’m gonna start a therapeutic massage center only for for
(M)- I’M GONNA START MY OWN NUDIST COLONY!
(T)- That’d b gross, we tried that in our bus one time
(M)- I tried to start a nudist colony one time on our bus and it wuz pretty much jus me hangin out naked…. They luv u Tom
(T)- THEY LUV ME SO FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE!!!
(M)- yea, fuck all u guys out there that r cheering we hate u Tom u sux dick burn in hell
(T) yea fuck that, hey I say, I say fuck the hating Tom thing, that’s wut I say, r we ready Mark?
(M)- Ya know wut it iz, ya know wut it iz… a lot of these people r now jus jumpin on the ‘we hate Tom band wagon’ I’ve been hatin Tom since like 1995 I’m old skool hatin Tom guy
(T)- o shit… hey let’s all say sum dirty words EVERY1 SAY FUCK (fuck)… EVERY1 SAY SHIT (shit)… EVERY1 SAY DICK (dick)… every1 say Mark’s an asshole (Mark’s an asshole)
(M)- every1 say, every1 say we hate Mark (we hate Mark) YEA!
(T)- hey now let’s do this one every1 say FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK!! (fuck fuck shit fuck), That’s the kinda words u should b usin at home kids….
(M)- That’s right
(T)- What do we do now?
(M)- I want every1 to call me an asshole again
(T)- Wuts up I like your hair, it very nice
(M)-u like his hair o that’s kool he prolly appreciates that a lot
(T)- no I wanted to say I liked his butt but I thought that wuz too forward, ya know
(M)- Hey this next songs for all the ladies in the HEZOWS….It’s for all the ladies in the
(T)- Hey Mark
(M- in the HEOWAOWZOWWS!!…
(T)- Hey Mark shut the fuck up
(M)- it’s for all the ladies in the HEYOWZEOAOWS!! weeeee…..hey ya know wut hang on, I wanna make this like a big golf
(T)- ::BURPS:: excuse me
(M)- excuse Tom
(T)- Sorry
(M)- I wanna make this like a big golf tournament everyone shut up, everyone jus clap like it’s a golf tournament (crowd claps)
(T)- That’s wut it sound like when I get done having sex…15,000 people cheerin me on, I COULD TAKE ALL OF U IN MY BED RIGHT FUCKIN NOW!!! But your not invited Mark… You have got giant boobs and I doubt your 18,do u have a note from your mom? I wanna meet your mom
(M)- HEY PUT THOSE 13 YEAR OLD BOOBS AWAY! If I wanted to c 13 year old boobs I’d hang out by the junior high like my dad does
(T)- hey ya know wut I learned in 5th grade?
(M)- Wut, your dad has a bent wiener?
(T)- My dad’s wiener wuz bigger than mine then and.. still iz…
(M)- I want every1 here 2 scream, fuck u Tom we fuckin hate u your gonna burn in hell and die a horrible fiery death cuz we think you’re a stupid piece of shit (crowd repeats)
(T)- I heard that
(M)- Thanx
(T)- Wanna give me your shirt? This smells like blood and ficeses… dinner time…hey wut does this say here…
(M)- It smells like blood and ficeses so it’s your dad`s shirt?
(T)- Hey just like any other band we believe in a safe form of sex don’t we Mark? That we do, so Mark’s gonna tell you about how safe we are
(M)- Lemme tell you about the safest form of sex it’s when u get super, drunk, drunk and u have sex with like 10 people totally unprotected and u do intervenes drugs at the same time… no that’s not true
(T)- Not true u gotta carry a weapon…. How many of u guys have girlfriends and how many of your girlfriends have guy friends? I hope your not having sex
(M)- And more importantly how many of your girlfriends have girlfriends?
(T)- Cuz we believe in the luv that exists between two vaginas
(M)- The most special luv of all iz the luv that exists between two naked women while I watch
(T)- We need her to put her shirt back on
(M)- Please
(T)- It just took away my boner, my boner jus died, I had one and now it’s gone
(M)- Please I saw your boobs and my wiener ran away…. Hey hey hey hang on every1 seriously I need your attention for a second please I think somebody lost a contact down here so, every1 look around a contact lens, somebody lost a contact lens, so could
(T)- I lost my virginity
(M)- Keep an eye out for it
(T)- I lost a testicle, he wut if testicles were things you could lose on an everyday bases that’d sux, u only got 3… Hey I gotta go pee pee
(M)- Wanna go pee and I’ll talk to the kids for a second
(T)- Do u think you could talk for enough time?
(M)- No uh-uh
(T)- Why don’t you gather your thoughts…
(M)- Why don’t you wet your pants and we’ll call it even
(T)- Should I jus piss in my pants right here? If u guys alllll each pitch in a dollar each I’ll piss my pants right here and now, that should make me about 200 dollars maybe
(M)- I’ll give u 300 dollars right now to piss your pants right now
(T)- I’ll give you 400 bucks to eat my shit
(M)- SOLD!!!
(T)- SOLD!!!…. apparently there’s a kid that’s hurt right now, I think they’re helping him out right now, looks like there right there
(M)- Make a hole people, make a hole
(T)- All you people over there make way for the hurt kid, and bring me their wallet
(M)- I wish now, ya know lemme tell u guys sumthing…
(T)- I’m gay
(M)- There’s thousands and thousands of people here today there’s like semis and fuckin buses and multiple bands and all kinds shit and I wish now I would of taken Bass lessons
(T)- So do I, I wish he did to
(M)- sorry, sorry… I’m thinking next year for Christmas I’m gonna ask for lessons
(T) ::Singing:: I know a guy, he has sex with his sister, he used his dick to pop her 4 foot blister and I know it’s not that kool, he fucked her in my swimming pool, he’s got 3 testicles and he, he luvs to uh…. Do shit… FUCK YEA!!!!… hey how come every time we say a joke it has to be about fuck and sex masturbation and sex or anything gross like that ya know
(M)- Iz there anything else in the world?
(T)- There’s nothing else to talk about
(M)- Hey can u help that little girl outta there she’s like not having so much fun right now hey
(T)- uh excuse me security guard sir
(M)- The one right in front of you yea
(T)- That girl right there needs to come out… if you’re a small person the front is not the best view, and if u uh hate sing shitty bands any of this is good view, this whole everything, everything here… Mark’s middle name iz uh Rebecca, they thought he wuz
(M)- That’s right, that’s right my middle name iz Rebecca cuz my dad wanted a girl, he treats me like one
(T)- I still have to go pee and I’m holding it in still, but I’ll piss my pants for money, I’ll eat a nugget of my own poop for 20 bucks, I’ll pay u 20 bucks and I’ll eat it
(M)- u shave ur ass
(T)- You have hair on nothing but your balls, hey did u guys know that Mark has no hair on his whole body but a fuckin wolverine growin in his pants I swear to god, it’s got teeth and shit
(M)- It’s true
(T)- He’s got a scary looking penis
(M)- It’s true, I need your tax deductible donations to the shave Mark balls program
(T)- It’s a charity kids
(M)- Send what u can, donate your time
(T)- You guys think we’re touring for our own no, this iz a charity tour for Mark’s balls
(M)- We’re tryin to raise enough money to shave my nuts, please give generously
(T)- There’s no metal strong enough to be the teeth on any kind of electric shaver… What do we do now, o I need a new guitar
(M)- We need a new guitar, we need a new guitarist, anyone out there got a guitar yea right there
(T)- Does anyone know how to play guitar cuz… I’m not very good, people don’t really respect me
(M)- If I was a girl every time I went to the gynecologist I’d fake an orgasm
(T)- Bad kids
(M)- Bad Christmas spirit
(T)- Bad Christmas spirit
(M)- Hey ok I need light now
(T)- we’re gonna point out every kid that didn’t sing
(M)- Santa Clause iz gonna come to your house and shit under all your trees
(T)- Santa clause iz gonna come rape your dog… o god ya know wut, I’m kind of ashamed of being myself today and yesterday, and the day before that, not really proud of who I am and how I look, ever have one of those days where u don’t even like wut your wearing ya know don’t like how your hair looks and kinda bummed about how your penis is so small and bent and weird…that’s the ugliest butt that I have ever seen, LET’S HEAR IT FOR NOT WIPPING!! Stupid butt wiping dude brings down the rain forest, ok this is a song I wrote
(M)- That guy has a science fair project up his ass
(T)- Wut heads up 7UP? Alrightevery1 close their eyes and if I come by and stick my finger in your butt you’re the one…. I think Satan has a couple of comments
(S)- Well kids it’s been a really fun show and I want you all to know that we will come back soon, but before I go I wanna say that I think Tom is extremely good looking and all the girls out there should think he’s good looking, Tom has one of the best butts that I have ever seen, shimmy shimmy coco puff shimmy shimmy right shimmy shimmy coco puffs, does anybody here wanna sleep with me I’m really a nice guy, it’s really not Satan
(T)- It’s me, it’s not Satan let’s all be happy he’s not here say FUCK SATAN(fuck Satan), alright hey I’m out of jokes and out of songs I think we’re done

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