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So I stepped up for the weighin` I knew the scales were wrong
Cause you know how them drugstore scales get stepped on all day long
A little fortune card came out it bears upon my mind
There was no fortune all it said but just one at a time
Because when I`m a heavyweight I`m fine when I`m fine
I got a suit for every weight up to size fifty-nine
I always wanted to waterski I finally got up this year
Two iron boards and toe chain and I came right out of there
People wonder how I laugh at things that make `em frown
And how I keep my double chin from a draggin` on the ground
I guess the folks are curious ask where I get to drive
But I can go to distance with any girl alive
Because honey I`m a heavyweight I`m fine if you are mine
You won`t get cold in the winter and I`m a shade in summertime
One gets lonely two`s companions three`s a crowd they say
But I won`t fuss if you bring the bus and load the darlings by today
Someday I`ll have to hangin` up and underfeet the heavyweight
I`ll never make the weighin` for a million dollare gate
I`m a suckin` it to you puny lads you better stay out of my way
And maybe next year you might be able to prove a little weigh your way
Cause when I`m a heavyweight I was fine sixty-nine
And that`s not my suit size buddy just the year I left behind
But when they try to put me down six feet under the ground
There ain`t no way to cover up the round mound of sound
No there ain`t no way to cover up the round mound of sound

So I stepped up for the weighin` I knew the scales were wrong
Cause you know how them drugstore scales get stepped on all day long
A little fortune card came out it bears upon my mind
There was no fortune all it said but just one at a time
Because when I`m a heavyweight I`m fine when I`m fine
I got a suit for every weight up to size fifty-nine
I always wanted to waterski I finally got up this year
Two iron boards and toe chain and I came right out of there
People wonder how I laugh at things that make `em frown
And how I keep my double chin from a draggin` on the ground
I guess the folks are curious ask where I get to drive
But I can go to distance with any girl alive
Because honey I`m a heavyweight I`m fine if you are mine
You won`t get cold in the winter and I`m a shade in summertime
One gets lonely two`s companions three`s a crowd they say
But I won`t fuss if you bring the bus and load the darlings by today
Someday I`ll have to hangin` up and underfeet the heavyweight
I`ll never make the weighin` for a million dollare gate
I`m a suckin` it to you puny lads you better stay out of my way
And maybe next year you might be able to prove a little weigh your way
Cause when I`m a heavyweight I was fine sixty-nine
And that`s not my suit size buddy just the year I left behind
But when they try to put me down six feet under the ground
There ain`t no way to cover up the round mound of sound
No there ain`t no way to cover up the round mound of sound

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