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(Jule Styne/Bob Merrill)



Hey, can we have your autograph?

My autograph?

I`m nobody

But wait a minute



I`ve got 36 expressions

Sweet as pie to tough as leather

And that`s six expressions more

Than all the Barrymores put together

Only six?



Instead of kicking me

I don`t think they give me a lift

I think it`s a plot

`Cause they`re scared that I got

Such a gift, I`m miffed



`Cause I`m the greatest star

I am by far, but nobody knows it

Wait, they`re gonna hear a voice

A silver flute

They`ll cheer each toot

When I expose it



Can`t you see the look at me

That I`m a natural Camille?

As Camille I just feel

I have so much to offer

I know I`ll be divine because

I`m a natural cougher



Some ain`t got it, not a lump

She a great big clump of talent

Laugh, they`ll bend in half



Did I tell the story about the traveling salesman?

A thousand laughs

Stick around for `em folks

A thousand faces, I reiterate

When you`re gifted

Then you`re gifted



These are facts, I have no axe to grind

Hey, what are they blind

In all of the world so far

I`m the greatest star



Who is the pip with pizazz?

Who is all ginger and jazz?

Who is as glamorous as?



Who`s an American beauty rose

With that American beauty nose

And ten American beauty toes



Eyes on the target and wham

One shot, one gun shot and bam

Hey, world, here I am!



I`m the greatest star

I am by far

But nobody knows it

That`s why I was born

I`ll blow my horn

`Till somebody hears it



I`ll light up like a light

Right up like a light

I`ll flicker and flare up

All the world`s gonna stare up

Looking down

You`ll never see me

Try the sky

`Cause that`ll be me



I can make `em cry

I can make `em sigh

Someday they`ll clamor

For my dram-er



Have you guessed yet

Who`s the best yet

If you ain`t I`ll tell you one more time

You bet yer last dime

In all the world so far

She`s the greatest, greatest



Funny, life is far from sunny

When the laugh is over

And the jokes on you

Well, a girl`s gotta have a sense of humor

That`s one things you really needs for sure

When you`re a funny girl

The fellow said "A funny girl"

Funny, how it ain`t so funny girl



They`re the luckiest people in the world

With one person, one very special person

A feeling deep in your soul says

You were half, now you`re whole

No more hunger and thirst

But first be a person who needs people

People who need people

Are the luckiest people in the world

(Jule Styne/Bob Merrill)



Hey, can we have your autograph?

My autograph?

I`m nobody

But wait a minute



I`ve got 36 expressions

Sweet as pie to tough as leather

And that`s six expressions more

Than all the Barrymores put together

Only six?



Instead of kicking me

I don`t think they give me a lift

I think it`s a plot

`Cause they`re scared that I got

Such a gift, I`m miffed



`Cause I`m the greatest star

I am by far, but nobody knows it

Wait, they`re gonna hear a voice

A silver flute

They`ll cheer each toot

When I expose it



Can`t you see the look at me

That I`m a natural Camille?

As Camille I just feel

I have so much to offer

I know I`ll be divine because

I`m a natural cougher



Some ain`t got it, not a lump

She a great big clump of talent

Laugh, they`ll bend in half



Did I tell the story about the traveling salesman?

A thousand laughs

Stick around for `em folks

A thousand faces, I reiterate

When you`re gifted

Then you`re gifted



These are facts, I have no axe to grind

Hey, what are they blind

In all of the world so far

I`m the greatest star



Who is the pip with pizazz?

Who is all ginger and jazz?

Who is as glamorous as?



Who`s an American beauty rose

With that American beauty nose

And ten American beauty toes



Eyes on the target and wham

One shot, one gun shot and bam

Hey, world, here I am!



I`m the greatest star

I am by far

But nobody knows it

That`s why I was born

I`ll blow my horn

`Till somebody hears it



I`ll light up like a light

Right up like a light

I`ll flicker and flare up

All the world`s gonna stare up

Looking down

You`ll never see me

Try the sky

`Cause that`ll be me



I can make `em cry

I can make `em sigh

Someday they`ll clamor

For my dram-er



Have you guessed yet

Who`s the best yet

If you ain`t I`ll tell you one more time

You bet yer last dime

In all the world so far

She`s the greatest, greatest



Funny, life is far from sunny

When the laugh is over

And the jokes on you

Well, a girl`s gotta have a sense of humor

That`s one things you really needs for sure

When you`re a funny girl

The fellow said "A funny girl"

Funny, how it ain`t so funny girl



They`re the luckiest people in the world

With one person, one very special person

A feeling deep in your soul says

You were half, now you`re whole

No more hunger and thirst

But first be a person who needs people

People who need people

Are the luckiest people in the world

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